A Golden Opportunity: Building Friendships with People with Down Syndrome
Many people do not have a personal connection to a person with Down syndrome. This often contributes to misconceptions about the abilities and lives of adults with Down syndrome, which are as dynamic and varied as anyone elses. Brick by brick, these incorrect assumptions build social barriers that make people with disabilities feel isolated from the “real world”. In reality, both sides are missing out on the possibility of a meaningful and rewarding friendship.
This year for Canadian Down Syndrome Week, we are exploring the unique ways in which social isolation, loneliness, and friendship impact people in our community and how small acts of kindness in our daily lives can help to foster a world where we all feel welcome.
We spoke with CDSS Awareness Leader Paul Sawka about why people should get to know someone with Down syndrome, the importance of social connections, and what makes a true friend.
Get to Know My World
There are people out there, strangers and outsiders who don’t know me. Basically I want to reach out to them. All people should know what it’s like to be in the Down syndrome world and to know what it’s like to be a friend and trust in me.
I want strangers and outsiders to really fully understand where I’m coming from so that they can understand what it’s like to be me and be able to accept the way that we are and the way that we learn things. I really want them to be part of my life and be part of the friends that I have now. It is a golden opportunity to come and meet me or someone with Down syndrome.
I want to really say “I’m Paul Sawka. Do you want to hear me? Do you want to be able to come to me and talk to me and be with me?”
I’m not going to rest until they can hear me.
Why Aren’t More People Friends with People with Down Syndrome?
I feel that people ignore and discriminate and don’t even know about the Down syndrome community.
People do not really accept the way that I am a very big part of society. I am a big part of the Calgary Ups N’ Downs Board and a part of the Canadian Down Syndrome Society as an Awareness Leader. This is what I am known for my whole working career.
There were times in the past when people could really ignore me because I am not part of their world. Being ignored makes me feel very sad, lonely, and also very empty.
The reason why you must be friendly to me is because I do want to have a good friend like you.
How to Make New Friends
Making friends with someone with Down syndrome starts by talking to them. In order to come and talk to someone new, you need to get to know the person. You can start by saying “Hi”or “Hey, how are you?” and then you can tell each other your names and ages. Then from there you can really talk about things together.
Here are some things I like to talk about:
- Sports you play
- TV shows you watch
- Where you go to school or went to school
- Music you like
- What you like to do for fun
- What your routines are
- Your history and things you’ve done
What Makes a True Friend
There are also lots of ways that you can be a good friend to other people, even if you don’t know them. Saying hello to people is a great first step.
Honesty, caring, responsibility, and respect are all things that are important to be a good friend. Not slamming doors and following the rules shows respect. Respecting other people and property, homes, objects, and possessions is also important.
Here are a few reasons why I’m a good friend and why I think you should get to know me:
- I’m a good and healthy and strong person
- I’m a good talker
- I’m good at community baseball and curling
- I’m good at computer games on the Nintendo
- I exercise a lot
- I’m good at keeping my house clean and doing laundry
- I’m good at my routines like getting up for work in the morning and living independently
You can say hello to me and talk to me and if you want to really get to know me, well then you can really ask me questions about anything! And I will give you the information about me.
My Friends
I am a friend to many people. Some are from the Calgary Dolphins where I swim, from Special Olympics, or from Ups N’ Downs and PREP. I’m a friend in those organizations. I’m also friends with my roommates.
When I first got my job at Friends Café there were so many friendly workers who did help me a lot. They are friendly to me when I come in to buy my lunch and when I am working with them.
Over the past years, I did have a lot of old friends, but the reason why they had to leave is because they must be moving on with their life. So this made me so very sad when they wanted to leave and to move on. I didn’t mind it, but I really do miss them just because they were gone from me because they were my very best friends. And so that is how and why I had to let them go.
All my friends do all kinds of fun stuff together. We do things together when we go over to their house like playing games on their game systems and sometimes watching some movies as well. We enjoy having a very good glass of pop for a drink.
I do have a new roommate who is my friend. Her name is Winnie and she is a very nice girl who is going to be with me for a long time. I also have a new community worker and his name is Adam. We do a lot of things together like going out for lunches and sometimes out for dinners.
By Paul Sawka
Social Connection Resources
Join Us for Canadian Down Syndrome Week
Join us October 20-26, 2024 for Canadian Down Syndrome Week as we explore the importance of social connections to our health and happiness and how societial barriers contribute to social isolation in the Down syndrome community. Feeling ignored or misunderstood by society is a reality many youth and adults with Down syndrome face, especially once school is over and routines change.
More From Paul Sawka
Meal Planning and Nutrition as an Adult with Down Syndrome
Supported Decision Making
Independence and Self-Advocacy
Dealing with Grief
Changing Sibling Relationships
Selling the Family Home
Shaking Off the Winter Blues
CDSS BLOG
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